2014 was a wonderful year for me and my family. So many new and exciting things took place. My husband was blessed with an amazing promotion, and we purchased our dream property, our farm! Things really seemed to fly by once we closed on the farm. We closed in June, and I worked all summer long painting and cleaning trying to get things good enough for us to move in time for my daughter to begin the school year at her new school. Needless to say it was a big undertaking, and I put way more pressure on myself then I should have.
As August approached I was finishing up the kitchen, and we were able to move in one week prior to her first day of school. Needless to say, I didn't really have a summer.
There are many things I regret. Even though the house was painted and pretty much ready to go, I had to stop and ask myself at what cost? I did not spend one single day at the pool with my kids, or at the park, or to see a movie at the theater, not even an ice cream date! Every single day I worked on the house while my kids played, and before I knew it the summer was gone and my daughter was back in school. I chose to put so much into getting the house ready for us to move that I missed out on having a summer with my children, and those are days I cannot get back. When I am working on a project I am in 110 percent until the job is done, and that's not always a good thing.
By the end of August we were all moved in and pretty settled. I began to shift my focus in many ways. I began by asking God to change me and my over achiever personality. I love my children so much and while I feel in my heart they are number one, all summer long they came second. In my mind everything just had to stop until I felt like our house was ready for us, and that ended up taking much longer than I expected. My children deserve the best of me, not what's left over after I am completely over worked and exhausted. I was feeling so unhappy and craved a big change.
Since then I have really put my focus on God and my relationship with Him. My life has changed in so many ways. I feel a sense of peace and calmness that I have never really felt before. I still have a to-do list for the farmhouse that is pages long, but I no longer feel the need to run myself in the ground getting it all done. Instead, I allow a certain period of time each week to work on a project. When the time is up I'm done until the next time, and sometimes that means I don't completely finish whatever I'm working on at that time, and that's okay. I'm learning to be content and thankful for the very moment I am in, unfinished projects, dirty dishes, and all.
We had the best Christmas break! I completely let the housework go and just truly enjoyed time off with my kids. We spent many days in our pj's playing games, dancing, singing, and baking cookies. We made decorating a team effort instead of me doing everything the exact way I thought it needed to be done. We went to the movie theater and out to lunch, we took drives around neighborhoods to look at Christmas lights. It was the most fun I've had in such a long time. I was able to enjoy my children without my brain reminding me of all the work that needed to be done. I give God all the credit, and I am so thankful that slowly He changed me and my mindset.
With all that said I still love working around my house and making it a home. I love a good project as much as I always have, I've just changed my priorities, and it feels great!
So my goals for 2015 are the same as many others. I am going to strive to get healthier, more organized, more put together, etc, but my main goal is to continue growing in my relationship with God, and enjoy this precious time I have with my children. I am so thankful and grateful for this amazing life I have been blessed with, and I'm not going to let anymore precious memories slip away without me being 100 percent present.
Have a BLESSED day,